Mama always said---Keep your elbows off the table!

Okay, right now, while you're using your mouse with your right hand, are you leaning on your left arm? DON'T!! I learned this the hard way, and I gotta tell you, it's not worth it. Turns out the damage to my hand and arm are caused by a compressd nerve in my elbow, not in my neck. The good news is, I won't be having surgery on my neck. The bad news is, no type of surgery can fix it. I have damaged my ulnar nerve so badly that I have no feeling in my hand and have lost almost all use of my thumb and forefinger. The muscles in my hand have completely atrophied, my pinky and ring fingers are curling under and I have limited use of my arm. Being left-handed, this totally sucks. The only good news is that the middle finger is controlled by the median nerve, not the ulnar nerve, so I am flipping people off all of the time. There's something satisfying about that. The worst part is that I can do no exercise whatsoever that involves my hand and arm. This includes holding onto handlebars of any kind, so my new rowing machine is in it's folded position, standing in the corner. No longer can I lift weights, use an elliptical machine or bike or anything else I'd like to do in the gym. The nerve heals at the approximate rate of one inch per month and I have between 16 1/2 and 18 inches to heal. The ulnar nerve runs down the outside of your forearm and hand and then across your hand where it ends in the muscle between your thumb and forefinger. Whatever function I have left in a year and a half, is pretty much all I can expect. Because the damage is so severe, the nerve is not expected to heal all the way to the end and doctors do not expect me to regain full function of my thumb and forefinger. I am not allowed to bend my elbow, so I sleep with my arm Ace-bandaged to a splint. I'm having a brace made for my hand to prevent further contracture of my fingers. So, unless you want to be a constant source of entertainment for your friends and family (they seem to get a kick out of the way I hold a fork), PLEASE keep your elbows off the table!
Postscript: Turns out there IS a surgery to fix it!

Chewing the fat. No pun intended.

I've got to get myself off this damned merry-go-round. Lose a few pounds, gain a few pounds, lose it again, gain it again. I will go down in the Guinness Book of Records as the person who lost the least amount of weight in the most amount of time EVER.
It just figures that right when I'm ready to hit the gym full-throttle, I end up with compressed discs in my neck! No feeling or strength in my left hand or forearm at all. A little feeling in my right hand. Feet are a wee bit weak, but still getting me from place to place. I've been going to a physical therapist for traction and he has now suggested an inversion table and a home traction device. Should have kept my big house with the home gym instead of downsizing to a condo. LOL Good thing Ryan's leaving for school in 2 weeks----I can take over his room for a while.
And of course, NOW, is when my husband decides to start working out---after 20 years of me hounding him to join the gym, he finally has and he's actually going. Talk about adding insult to MY injury! AAAARGH!

Dare to Bare.

I recently read in a national womens' publication that 67% of American women have gone Brazilian. Pubicly, anyhow. Certainly not publicly. 14% own just a landing strip, 11% prefer a neat triangle and a measly 8% would just rather be au naturelle. So I started wondering----who are these women in the 67%? The young newlywed 2 doors down? The middle-aged divorcee down the street trying to make a sexual comeback? 85 year old Mrs. McGillicuddy around the corner? My mother???? Now there's a visual I just don't need.
And just who decided eons ago that the female body needed any kind of hair removal? I mean, you know it had to have been a guy. Why DO we shave our legs and underarms? And why DON'T men have to do it. I have shaved, I have waxed, I have depiloritorized. I have Epi-Lady-ed til I just couldn't take it anymore and I have recently "Veet"ed. Meanwhile, my husband still has a back that looks like Sasquatch. I can't even begin to say how much satisfaction I would get out of waxing his back. The screams, the yelps, the ouches. YES!!! Payback for all those hairy bars of soap he leaves in the shower.
Sounds fair to me.

I'm so happy I could just shit.

This week has been great. Really great. Savannah has perked up a little after her 6 day hospital experience. Unfortunately, she is no longer in remission from her ITP, but she is doing well, never the less. Today she almost seemed like her old self. Happy, playful, no vomiting. Now if we could take care of the diarrhea, we'd all be a little happier, but at least she seems more "with it". The first few days she was home, I really had my doubts that she'd ever feel good again. ITP is a horrible auto-immune disease. During her first bout with it, her platelets were attacked. This time it's her stomach and intestines. Hopefully she'll recover and go back into remission. Meanwhile she's on a bland, soft diet of EN canned food that I puree and feed to her 6 times a day. She takes Carafate twice a day to protect her stomach, Flagyl twice a day to kill off any bad bacteria, Prilosec to prevent heartburn, Reglan to help with nausea and Mylanta as needed. If she doesn't stop vomiting completely, we'll put her on a special type of Prednisone that is made to dissolve at the trouble sites. She's a regular science project complete with charts and graphs!
Kelly is also home from the hospital and doing well. Apparently she has viral meningitis and it will take a couple of weeks to run it's course. But a much better diagnosis than the stroke or Lupus they thought it was. Scary, scary scary. She is still exhausted and still has moments of confusion and incoherency, but her boyfriend Tony is keeping a good eye on her.
And I am happy and relieved and grateful and a lot less stressed than I was for the past couple of weeks. I'm still housebound with the dog, but I see light at the end of the tunnel. Tomorrow will be my first day back in the gym in forever----I wanted to go Friday, but I haven't been sleeping well at night, so I slept in instead. Hopefully, I'll get a good night's rest tonight and I'll be on my way to a kick-ass body once again.

Priscilla

Tomorrow would have been, should have been my friend Priscilla's 57th birthday. She died in 1992 at the age of 43. We lost Priscilla to a cancer that never should have killed her. She was too embarrassed to go in for regular pap smears. Sometimes I'm still angry with her. But the days and weeks right before her death are the ones that supply me with the best memories. My favorite is of when we were all seated around her hospital bed---her mother, husband and I---waiting, just waiting for whatever would come next. She's was comatose---had been for a few days---and we were doing our best to keep her comfortable and ourselves occupied with the business of keeping her comfortable. She was sleeping on a pad filled with gel, to reduce the possibility of bedsores, though why, I do not know. What is a bedsore when you are dying of cancer? The head of the bed was elevated and Priscilla kept sliding down into the flat portion of the bed. Her husband and mother, or husband and me or mother and me or any combination thereof, kept lifting her under the arms and pulling her up to the top of the bed. After doing this a dozen or so times over the course of a couple of days, Priscilla shot up into a seated position and yelled, "God-fucking-damnit! Everytime I start to get comfortable, you fucking assholes pick me up and move me." She then quietly laid back down and went to sleep for another day before she died. Those were her last words. And I smile, then chuckle, then laugh out loud when I remember them. Priscilla was always such a lady, she was delicate and feminine, well-mannered and considerate. She didn't smoke, drink or swear in all the years I knew her. I used to tease her and call her Prissy. But with those words, she taught me about dignity and courage. Apparently she was a lot tougher than I thought.
The following summer I was diagnosed with the same type of cancer that killed Priscilla. I would probably not have gone in for an exam if it weren't for her.
In a way, she saved my life by losing hers.
I promised Priscilla's mother that I would share her story with people every year to commemorate her life and to possibly save someone else's.
PLEASE see your doctor for an annual Pap Smear and HPV test.

good news, bad news, no news.

So the good news is, Savannah came home from the hospital today. We still don't have the results from the endoscopy, but at least she ate a little food today and it stayed down. She seems to be in a considerable amount of pain, but is still her sweet, good-natured self. If you touch her tummy she starts shaking and whimpering and it's so hard to see her in pain. She's definitely stressed and anxious. I cannot leave her sight or she starts crying. But tonight she seems a lot less anxious than she was earlier, so I'm hoping a less stressful environment than the hospital will help.
And the bad news. My stepdaughter Kelly was admitted to UCSF Medical Center today. She apparently was having flu-like symptoms yesterday and the day before. When her mom called her today to see how she was doing, Kelly couldn't put together her thoughts and words to form a sentence. She was taken to the emergency room and later admitted. She had a CAT scan tonight that came back clear, as well as a spinal tap to check for meningitis. That came back clear as well. They wanted to do an MRI, but she became too agitated and got up out of the MRI machine and walked out of the room. They gave her some Ativan to settle her down and they will try to do an MRI again tomorrow. Right now it doesn't look like she had a stroke, but it's still a possibility. She still can not speak much---she just occasionally says a word that doesn't necessarily have anything to do with what she was asked. I am so heartsick tonight. And my husband is devastated.
The no news: no results from Savannah's endoscopy. No definitive test results for Kelly.

Savannah

A pillow and a down comforter----what more does a girl need? My best four-legged friend is sick. Really sick. And I am having such a hard time with it. Savannah has been my "rock" during so many hard times in my life. She arrived in my life shortly after my last boxer, Dusty, drowned in my swimming pool late one night. When Dusty died, I swore I wouldn't get another dog for a long time. I just didn't think I could love another as much as I had loved her. And then Savannah showed up in my life and everything changed. When she was about a year old, Roger and I separated. Savannah was there for me. When my brother died a few years later, Savannah was there for me. When a close friend dumped me, Savannah took care of me. And when Savannah contracted a near-fatal immune deficiency disease, I was there for her and I took care of her. I gave her 8 different meds, 8 times a day for 8 months. Easy to remember. I quit my job to stay home with her. We became inseparable during that time. She took care of me, and I took care of her. Savannah has been in the hospital now for 5 days. She has had a few bouts with pancreatitis before, but last week she vomited blood two different times, 5 days apart. The cause is obviously something besides pancreatitis,although she has that, too. Today she had an endoscopy to try to find the reason. In an endoscopy, a tiny camera is sent down the throat and esophagus into the stomach to film the interior of the stomach. The doctor found a lot "angry" red spots and took numerous samples of tissue to send to the pathology lab. He also found food that had not been digested although Savannah had not eaten for about 12 hours. The food should already have passed out of her stomach. So things aren't looking too great. And I'm pissed because the entire time she has been in the hospital, I have been asking the vet about what could be causing the bleeding. And I kept hearing "pancreatitis". Now I'm not a vet, but I have studied human physiology and I know that frank blood in vomit is not coming from anywhere past the stomach. If the bleeding is anywhere in the digestive system beyond the stomach, blood would be found in the stool, not in vomit. So when they told me last night that they thought she could come home today, I asked AGAIN if they had figured out where the bleeding was coming from. The answer was no, so after much discussion and a consultation with 2 other vets, it was decided that they would do the endoscopy. So things aren't looking good and I am wondering if she would have gotten this sick if they had done the endoscopy sooner. Who knows? We won't get the results back from the lab for a few days. It could be something as simple as ulcers. It could be something as serious as cancer. But my dog is coming home tomorrow. And we will be there for each other and I will take care of her no matter what. I couldn't do anything less for my best friend.

War is not healthy for children and other living things. Protest slogan from the Vietnam era.

After reading a reply to this entry, I decided to edit this somewhat. The body of this entry remains the same. I am merely adding a preface.First off, let me say, that I don't expect everyone to agree with me. This is strictly MY opinion---and I'm entitled to it, just as you are to yours. My political leaning is to the left---you are forewarned. LOL. My family has personally and greatly been affected by war. Starting with my mother who grew up in an Nazi-occupied town during World War 2.  I hate war, I will always hate war. I especially hate wars that are designed to feed the American political machine. That being said, I also would like to state, that I have the utmost amount of respect for our soldiers who fight every day for what they believe is right. I may not agree with them, but I respect their choice to join the military and to fight for their beliefs. My son-in-law is career military and my 2 step-grandchildren have also chosen to be career military. I respect that. Completely. But I still want them to be as safe as possible. Here is the rest of my entry in it's entirety:
I'm fed up with the business of dirty politics. I'm fed up with a leader who is beginning to sound more and more like a dictator every day. I am fed up with seeing our children go off to fight a war that is putting money into politicians' pockets. And right now I'm am fed up with the latest word from the Pentagon. Most of us have already heard that there is not enough protective gear to go around for all of our soldiers. Parents of many soldiers fighting in Iraq and Afghanistan have had to purchase protective vests and send them to their children overseas. That in itself pisses me off. Uhmm--if you're gonna send a bunch of people over to fight a war, why aren't they ALL provided with protective gear? What if the family cannot afford to purchase protective gear?
The government issued vests are a brand called "Interceptor". The manufacturer of Interceptor vests has a long-standing contract with the U.S. government. Unfortunately, they are unable to keep up with the demand for them, and civilians cannot purchase them. There is a company in Fresno, California, that manufactures another brand of protective vest called "Dragonskin". They do NOT have a contract with the US military and therefore can not sell or even GIVE the equipment to our soldiers through the military. These ARE available for purchase to civilians and this is the brand that families of soldiers are buying to protect their loved ones. The Pentagon has just issued a statement proclaiming that if a soldier is killed wearing a Dragonskin vest, his or her family will NOT receive death benefits. If a soldier is injured while wearing the Dragonskin vest, he or she may NOT receive full medical benefits.
Now, I could understand (sort of) the government issuing this edict, IF the Dragonskin vest was an inferior product and did not deflect ammunition as well as the Interceptor vest. But here's the deal---even the manufacturer and distributer of the Interceptor vest is saying that the Dragonskin vest is a BETTER piece of protective gear! Testing by an independent company has proven that it deflects MORE types of ammo than the Interceptor vest. Now, I'm sure some of you are thinking, "If the Dragonskin vest is so good, the soldiers shouldn't be killed while wearing them." This seems to be part of the government's argument, as well. But consider this--- it is a VEST. It only covers the upper torso. People are still dying from head injuries and bleeding to death after having extremities blown off. This happens with either brand of vest. But if they are wearing an Interceptor vest or NO VEST AT ALL, their families still receive death benefits. If they are wearing a Dragonskin vest, they will get NO BENEFITS whatsoever! Even if their death was cause by a head injury, not a torso hit. Even if their legs were blown off and they bled to death.
If our government can not make sure that our children fighting overseas are protected as much as possible, and we have to purchase their protective gear for them, how the hell can they dare deny death and medical benefits?
If this pisses you off, as much as it does me, please, please write to your congressman or senators or state representitives. Not one of our soldiers overseas should die a senseless death that could have been prevented with a protective vest. And not one family of a soldier killed in war should be denied compensation for their loss. Not one maimed man or women should be denied full medical benefits.

Ugh. There's no progress being made here!

This is what my new home looks like 2 weeks after moving in. Remarkably, it looks exactly the same as it did 2 weeks ago.

Home Sweet Home. Yeah, right.

We are finally in our new condo. It's so weird not to be living in a house with a backyard! And it's so weird to go from 3700 sq. ft. to 2000 sq. ft.! I really thought we had purged enough stuff before moving, but I guess not. Geez, we filled a 20 yd. dumpster and made about 50 (no exaggeration!) trips to Goodwill, but we still have way too much stuff!
Ryan is still in shock over how small his room is! He went from a 14x16 ft. room, (not including the big bay window where his built-in desk was) with a huge walk-in closet, to a very small 10x12 room with a very small closet. I keep reminding him that in a few months he'll be living away at college, but it's still an ajustment.
I'm just having problems trying to figure out where to store my pots and pans! I don't have a problem with the smaller space---it's just finding places to put stuff.
I haven't met all of my neighbors yet, but it's very quiet around here. I did meet the guy who's opening the Far West Trading Co and Tea Bar down below one of my neighbors condos. He's very cool and I'm sure I'll spend lots of time in his shop.
For any of you who are unfamiliar with the type of community this is, it's a mixed use community. It's called the Town Green Village and it's groups of condos surrounding the town green park. The condos are all above businesses--mostly fancy little shops that sell fancy little things and clothing that no one can afford, except maybe tourists. The community was designed to resemble the original downtown area which has been gone for many years. To me, it kinda looks like Main St. in Disneyland! LOL Each condo has a different facade. It's been written up in all kinds of publications and the Sierra Club lists it as one of the top 10 communities in the nation, because of it's mixed usage buildings and the fact that you can walk to all the stores and restaurants. It's very charming. There are restaurants and cafes with sidewalk seating like in Europe and an Irish Pub on the corner.
Now about the inside of my condo---you can't walk from one room to the other! I have so many boxes stacked in every room, I can't stand it! I was sick in bed the first 2 1/2 days we were here, so I'm running behind on my unpacking. This place is a mess, but until I figure out what to do with everything, I guess I'll just have a mess.

Genius??

Captain Beefheart... you are one of the first

modern fucked-up geniuses. When it comes to

creating, you rank right up there with the

likes of James Mangan, John Wilmot and Edvard

Munch.


Which fucked-up genius composer are you?
brought to you by Quizilla

Shut up, already!!

I don't know what's going on over on the NS bulletin board. There is so much misinformation! Newbies helping newbies----it's like the blind leading the blind! And it's not their fault. Most oldies are over at Jazzman's BB, so there are not all the people to answer questions like there were a year ago. I cringe when I read some of the replies to posts. Like when somebody asked if they could have asparagus and someone else replied yes---just watch the amount. Whaaaa? Watch the amount??? WHY?? Have as many fucking asparagus as you like, folks! It's not gonna make you fat! Neither is broccoli, spinach, brussel sprouts, green beans OR EVEN peas and corn. Yes, I know they're carbs, but who the hell ever got fat eating peas and corn, honestly? I mean, come on have you ever heard anyone say, "I never should have had that last 1/2 cup of peas cause now I can't fit into my jeans"? It's the Big Macs and fries that make you fat. It the senseless stuffing of your body with chocolate donuts and Kit-Kat bars. It's the BAGS of Doritos and potato chips. I swear, people, it is NOT asparagus!
And medical advice!! OMG! Why would you ask a bunch of strangers for medical advice? Generalizations, maybe, but asking for specific medical advice or GIVING specific medical advice is nuts. I don't care if you ARE a professional--if you don't have access to someone's medical history, why would you give them specific advice?
I don't even give SPECIFIC exercise advice unless I know someone's medical history. Here's a personal example: If I were to ask medical advice or even exercise advice and didn't let anyone know that I have a history of 4 strokes, I would probably receive a lot of advice that would be detrimental to my health. If I were to follow some of that inappropriate advice, I could DIE. I don't know if that's a good example or not. But it's true. So here's my best medical advice---ASK YOUR DOCTOR.
I guess what I'm trying to say here, is take it all with a grain of salt. If you really need an answer to something and what you're reading on the board is confusing or you get 5 different answers to the same question, do a search on Yahoo or Google it or Ask Jeeves for God's sake. Then choose a website that you know is reliable. www.discoveryhealth.com is a really good one-
Or here's a thought....CALL YOUR DOCTOR!!

Stolen from Scarlett's blog.

You Are Mexican Food

Spicy yet dependable. You pull punches, but people still love you.

What Kind of Food Are You?

MMMmmm!!

OMG--I am eating  cookies and cream cheesecake. I have died and gone to heaven!
Savannah is feeling much better after 2 trips to the vet in 2 days. She has severe allergies and was sneezing and coughing so much on Tuesday that we thought she might have inhaled something. They knocked her out so they could look up her nose and down her throat and there was nothing to be found. The vet said her nose was completely raw inside---probably just from pollen. The tree in the picture is in full bloom in February and is probably one of the culprits. It seems like everything has started to bloom around here lately. Then Wednesday, we noticed a raw oozing "hot spot" at the base of Savannah's stub tail and on the underside of it. Her tail has always been a problem. It was docked before we got her and whoever did it docked it too much and pulled the skin too tight. We've actually had exposed bone problems in the past. So it was back to the vet on Wednesday to make sure it wasn't infected. Now we have to spray her 3x a day with her "butt spray". There's apparently nothing a lot of money can't fix! Since Thanksgiving our vet bills have exceeded the $5000 mark! Which is better than 2 years ago when we hit the $10,000 mark! But our 2 dogs are our babies and there's nothing I wouldn't do for either of them. If you go back into my blog archives to the month of November, you can see pics of our first big vet bill of the season!

Howdy Doody!!

Wow, I'm so excited. We finally got our new car yesterday. It's an Audi Quattro TT and it's so pretty. I had an Audi years ago and I wanted personalized license plates that said "Audi DO D" and I never got around to getting it. Now I want one that says "Howdy2T". Or something to that effect. Yeah, I know it's really cheesy, but "cheesy" describes my sense of humor pretty well.
I'm getting pretty excited about the new condo, too. I can't believe it's been 4 months since we sold our house and moved into a temporary rental til our condo is finished. I am SOOoooo ready to get into our new place. I just hope it's completed by March 2nd. We're closing on the 1st, but technically the condo doesn't have to be completed til the second. I just hope this all works out, cause the movers are delivering all my furniture that's been in storage. We've had a few construction set-backs, but I'm keeping my fingers crossed. I already ordered the plantation shutters for the 8 windows on the front of the condo and one window in the family room, but I still need to find something for the sliding door and the office and Ryan's room. I was hoping plantation shutters would work on the sliding door, but after having them here in the rental, I don't find them very practical.

If you don't like my cussing, go away.

The whole censorship thing on the Nutrisystem bulletin board is just too darned funny. Apparently they're using some sort of filter to eliminate swear words from the posts. But it's backfiring! You can't write "finish it" because the "sh" at end of finish and "it" form the word shit. You can't combine weight loss and exercise because of the "s" at the end of loss and the "ex" at the beginning of exercise. You CAN write ASS, BITCH and SCREW. But you CAN'T say cocktail.
I'm guessing their filter works kinda like spellcheck. It just can't differentiate so it says everything is wrong.
But what the fuck is wrong with these damned assholes over at Nutrisystem?? (sorry, I just had to write that). Give them a position of power and they become Hitler or Dubya---depending on your politics. I hate people who think that because they have a title, they have control over all things. But like the wizard of Oz, they eventually are found out. So, Stacy Jimenez, NS board moderator---come out from behind the curtain at NS. Click your heels together 3 times and go home.

No Butts about it.

I scored the following in the Butt Quiz 12 out of 15 Can you spot the difference between a male and female butt? Take the Butt Quiz at JokesUnlimited.com

RY-ANNNNNNN!!!!!!

Okay, so we all want to raise our kids to become loving, compassionate, generous of spirit, kind, caring self-sufficient people, right? At least that's the kind of adults I want my children to be. Well, I guess I forgot to put self-sufficent on the list when I got to my youngest child! Yikes!! My nineteen old "baby" seems to be just that sometimes---a baby! In the course of 24 hours he has let out a scream because there was a moth in his room--a moth!!!! ( From the decibel level of that scream,I swear, I thought he'd cut off a finger),he has come to me because the cat puked in his room and apparently he didn't know how to clean it up---hunh!!---and he came in complaining that he had muddy shoes. What the F@$%&??? Now in all fairness, Ryan IS everything else on that list. I have tried to raise him in a way that he would be an ideal husband/partner one day. And I set the bar pretty damned high. He is a wonderful boyfriend to his girlfriend of 3 years, Shannon. He is loving and generous and extremely romantic. He even took culinary classes so he can cook for her every weekend when he visits her at UCBerkeley. He wants her to have home-cooked meals instead of all that cafeteria junk. He buys her flowers on a regular basis. He puts a lot of thought into the gifts he gives her. He even eats fruit and vegetables when he's with her---no small feat for a guy who had never tasted broccoli or eaten a banana in his entire life!
On top of all that, he's worked extremely hard at the junior college for the last 2 years to stay on the deans' honors list so he could be accepted at San Francisco State University this coming fall. (yeeha!!--he just got his acceptance letter).
But he's afraid of moths, and cat puke grosses him out and he stills steps in mud.
One the one hand, it all strikes me as totally silly. On the other, it's just part of what makes him so endearingly charming. And maybe the whole school experience will help with the self-sufficiency.
Hmmmmmm. Maybe he IS all those things on the list. Whaddya know?!
And did I mention cute?

What decade do you identify with? (Stolen from Jan's blog)

what decade does your personality live in?


quiz brought to you by lady interference, ltd