What a long strange trip it's been.........

wow. It's been almost a year since I last posted here. And so much has happened!

So...lessee....what's been going on......Aside from going to Colorado for Amy's vow renewal, I haven't done much of anything---but getting to hang out with Amy and Jan was enough fun to last a long time!
There's a lot happening in the near future for me, though... I'm having surgery on my elbow 2 days after Christmas. I'm so looking forward to that. NOT! The incision will run from the middle of my forearm to the middle of my upper arm. I'm having a variaton of an ulnar nerve transpositon.. My incision will be longer than usual because of the amount of damage to the nerve and the necessity of protecting as much of it as possible from future damage. Recovery will take approximately a year and a half....which really sucks, because it's already been over a year and a half since the original damage was done. Three years of not being able to use my dominant hand sort of sucks. But I'm sure I will continue to be a source of amusement for my friends and family-----it's definitely entertaining to watch me try to eat with a fork.
And I've become quite adept at typing with just 2 fingers on my left hand. I can't control a pen or pencil, so that's a good thing.
Aside from surgery, December is going to be a really busy month. I have a shitload of doctor's appointments, including one for some Restylane injections. I was going to have Thermage done as well, but I decided to wait until February for that. Then, of course, the holidays. This year we'll spend Christmas morning with the grandkids and the afternoon with my mom. Ryan will be home from college and I'm looking forward to having the whole family together.
I'm totally looking forward to spring-and my annual trip to Mazatlan. OLE!

Hi Everyone!

I just want to welcome each and every one of you to the revival of my blog.
 I'm still very limited in the exercise department because of the problems I have with my hand, so no weight-lifting, but I just bought a new treadmill to replace the one I got rid of a couple of years ago (thanks, Jan!). I have bought and sold more gym equipment than I want to admit. I got Rog to give up some of his garage space so I wouldn't have to look at the treadmill in my house, then bought an LCD tv to mount on the wall in the garage. I'm really feeling motivated and totally committed. Bodybuilding was such a huge part of my life for so many years, that it really feels good to get back to ANY kind of workout. Hopefully, surgery on my elbow will restore some of the use to my hand and I'll be able to get back to weights one day. I really didn't want to go through the surgery because of the long recovery time---about a year and a half---and the poor record of success with this type of surgery, but it's the only option left. There's no hurry on the surgery----they usually wait at least a year after the initial injury anyhow to see if the nerve will heal on it's own. It will be a year this week. I don't think I'll be celebrating THAT anniversary!

Gone, but never forgotten

We let Savannah go on Tuesday. It was probably the most difficult thing I've done in my entire life. We took her to her favorite vet, Dr. Joy, who has taken care of her since she was a puppy. Joy had a blanket spread out for her and she died in our arms surrounded by Joy's staff who have been with us on this long ride that has been Savannah's life. I am so sad. Inconsolable, actually. And I really miss my sweet baby.

My Savannah.

Savannah's dying. There, I've said it. It doesn't make it more or less real to say it. It is what it is.
The vets all agree. She probably has a brain tumor. That would explain her blindness better than the former diagnosis of Sudden Acquired Retinal Degeneration Syndrome. SARDS. A devastating thing on its own. But this brain tumor thing is really scary. Now I have to face all kind of questions. How long will she be lucid? Will she lose her ability to walk? Will she lose control of her bowels and bladder? How will it affect her personality? Would she die a painful death without intervention?
This poor dog has suffered her entire life. First with ITP--a horrible immune deficiency disease that kept her on heavy medication for almost a year. Then several bouts with pancreatitis....an offshoot of her ITP. This past summer we thought we finally had it licked. She was in remission from ITP and had just recovered from another bout of pancreatitis that had her in the hospital for a week. She was happy and healthy and enjoying life in general. She loved lying in the sun on our deck and going for long walks around the park. We live in a tiny community---about 8 small blocks of mixed-use construction with condos over quaint, chic, overpriced shops that cater to the wealthy vacationers who visit here in the heart of California wine country----and Savannah has become a favorite of the neighbors and shopkeepers. Some have a handful of "cookies" waiting for her when we visit and most let her in their stores to sniff around. She particularly likes Storybook Station because they keep a rocking chair with a stuffed animal in it out front that Savannah has been using as a landmark since she lost her sight in November. which brings me back to "we thought we finally had it licked". In November, we noticed that Savannah started bumping into a lot of things. She's always been klutzy, but this was different. She also started tripping over curbs and sliding down stairs. After about a week we noticed that her eyes were staying completely dilated all the time and had gone from a beautiful brown to a glowing green. A trip to the doggy opthamologist confirmed our fears. Savannah was totally blind and diagnosed with SARDS. If only that's all it turned out to be.
And now she is dying. She doesn't know it and she's as demanding as ever when it comes to her cookies. But last Friday, she had a grand mal seizure and ended up it in the hospital for the weekend. Roger took her to the doggy neurologist on Monday for a consultation. This morning she had another seizure. Milder this time, but still there. So now a tumor is the suspect. We will not have an MRI done to confirm it, because all of the vets have told us that any tumor large enough to sit on the optic nere and cause blindness, is too deep within her brain to remove.
So today I have spent most of the afternoon on the couch with Savannah's head in my lap. I have considered all of the options and come to a conclusion. I will NOT let this dog ----this wonderful sweet being, who has pulled me through so many tragedies just by sitting by my side---I will NOT let her suffer. It is a waiting game now. We know that we don't have much time left with her. But I will not let this tumor kill her in a long drawn-out painful death. She will die in my arms and will hear me say I love her and will feel my kisses on the top of her head. Daddy will be there, too, because she has always been there for both of us. It seems only fair that we're both there for her. And she'll know that she couldn't have been loved any better.