I don't know how much more I can take. Pain is a constant. Anxiety is my messy roommate.
Is this my not-so-new normal? Getting up in the morning because my muscles and joints hurt so much I can't lie down anymore? Soaking in a tub full of warm water and Epsom salts for 4 hours, then going back to bed? Not being able to read or watch tv? Seeing double or seeing a big fog settle in front of my eyes? Having transient vision loss? Getting up long enough to cook dinner, then not having the appetite to eat it?
I am discouraged.
My doctor list includes my PCP, a neurologist, a cardiologist, a pulmonologist, an immunologist, a rheumatologist. Am I forgetting anyone? Ah yes, the 2 ophthalmologists and the vascular surgeon. Too many cooks in my medical kitchen.
No one can decide why my immunoglobulin serum and sedimentation rates are so high. Everyone keeps adding or changing meds. I've quit counting how many meds I take daily. I've had so many tests ~ complete heart workup, CT scan of my lungs, MRI of my brain, ultrasound of my entire abdomen and pelvic region, ultrasound of my carotid arteries. I have to have a temporal artery biopsy and have to repeat the whole heart workup and this time have a bubble ecg. Mammogram scheduled for Thursday.
Enough.
St. Jude Thaddeus, pray for me.
